Sandwich Monday: Breathable Chocolate
[If you were about to note that this doesn't look like a sandwich, keep in mind the Sandwich Draft Principle applies.]
With Thanksgiving a few days away, you have to save as much stomach room as you can. That means, of course, breathing your food. To that end: Le Whif Breathable Chocolate. They're like little plastic chocolate cigarettes, filled with some kind of chocolate powder.
Ian: It's a powder. We're breathing Chocothrax!
George: It tastes like riding your bike behind a bus.
Mike: I think this is giving me Brown Lung.
Mike: Why is it called Le Whif? Is it French?
Robert: Man, this is so much easier to sneak into the boy's room than the "Le Bong" from high school.
Ian: Le Whif is better than Le Whiffre, which makes your eye bleed.
Eva: I'll have to smoke a pack of cigarettes to get this chocolate smell out of my clothes.
Mike: This is not only delicious; it's a great way for chocoholics to wean themselves. It's a kind of chocodone.
Robert: Much more effective than the Hershey's patch.
Peter: This is the first confectionery that requires you to stuff a towel under the crack of your door.
Ian: I could see you getting in a bad inhale-munchies-inhale-munchies cycle with these things.
Eva: This will be a very unsatisfying dessert after I go inhale the air inside a McDonald's for lunch.
Mike: What's the legal blood-chocolate level? I don't want to fail a chocolyzer test.
[The verdict: SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: I DON'T KNOW IF THESE WILL HARM YOUR HEALTH OR ANYTHING, BUT THEY'RE KIND OF GROSS. ]