Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
9:07 am
Sat February 15, 2014

Limericks

Originally published on Sun February 16, 2014 1:13 pm

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Or click the contact us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows back at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago and our upcoming show on March 20th in Kalamazoo. And be sure to check out the latest How To Do Everything podcast. This week, we tell you the secret to feeling better about the terrible weather.

Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

BETH KOPP, CONTESTANT: Hi. This is Beth Kopp.

SAGAL: Hey, Beth. Where are you calling from?

KOPP: I'm calling from Plainfield, New Hampshire.

SAGAL: Oh, tell me how the weather is there.

KOPP: Oh, very snowy.

SAGAL: How snowy is it?

KOPP: I would say it's been snowing for about 12 or 13 hours.

SAGAL: I see.

KOPP: But the pretty nice, fluffy snow.

SAGAL: Oh, I'm sure it is.

KOPP: It's fun.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Welcome to the show, Beth. Carl Kasell is going to read you three news-related limericks, with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two of the limericks, you're a winner. Are you ready to play?

KOPP: I am ready.

SAGAL: Here is your first limerick.

CARL KASELL, ANNOUNCER: We gators catch prey every time, and not just in mud and in slime. Thanks to Darwin's advances, we hide up in branches. We gators have learned how to...

KOPP: Climb.

SAGAL: Yes, indeed. Climb.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Well done.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Bad news, a study published in the current issue of journal Herpetology Notes claims certain kinds of gators and crocodiles can climb trees, including the type of alligator that is perched above you right now, licking his lips.

(LAUGHTER)

BRIAN BABYLON, COMEDIAN: So that, like, evolution stuff we're seeing?

SAGAL: I think evolution would only apply in this case if the alligators that were climbing the trees had an advantage over the alligators that couldn't, right?

BABYLON: Yeah, they do have an advantage.

SAGAL: Which is?

BABYLON: Climb tree. I'm in a tree, bro. I can eat more things, I can jump on someone's head.

SAGAL: Can you imagine - what is - the last thought of, say, a bird before it's eaten by an alligator in its tree must be, you have got to be kidding me.

(LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: Yeah. I'm just thinking about that first alligator that realized they can climb a tree, like, what's going on here? Oh, my god, I'm in a tree. I'm in a tree. I'm in a tree.

(LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: That will be great. That first alligator, he's like...

KYRIE O'CONNOR, WRITER: Yeah.

BABYLON: He sounds like winning.

O'CONNOR: He's the boss.

MAZ JOBRANI, COMEDIAN: He sounds like the Spider Man of alligators.

(LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: Like he got bit by a radioactive alligator and then...

JOBRANI: Exactly. They should have - I mean, we have Spider Man, we should have Alligator Man now. That will be - that's a good - he climbs up trees, you know, and I don't know what he does there but...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your next limerick.

KASELL: I collect my Koala bear's muck. Now on tests my poor brain won't get stuck. With help from my buddy, I won't have to study. I'll just take his poop for good...

KOPP: Luck?

SAGAL: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

KOPP: Yes.

SAGAL: Japanese students have a new good luck charm, koala poop.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here's their reasoning: Koalas can hang onto trees for 20 hours without falling, so students believe their poop of koalas will transfer some of that resilience when they're studying for exams.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It may be crazy, it may not be. One thing is certain, you do not want to eat Japanese Lucky Charms cereal.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your last limerick.

KASELL: Though blockbuster summers are legendary, this month's fare appears rather sedentary. I prefer a gum cleaning to what they are screening. All movies are bad now in...

SAGAL: I'll give you a hint, it's...

KOPP: Theaters.

SAGAL: No, in theaters. No, I'll give you a hint. It's - it sort of rhymes, sort of, with legendary, sedentary, rhymes with...

KOPP: February.

SAGAL: February, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: The month of February has it all: Valentine's Day, an extra R, and terrible, terrible movies. A study of Rotten Tomatoes rankings by Slate found that year after year, the worst movies come out in February, showing what Hollywood thinks of Black History Month.

(SOUNDBITE OF BOOING)

BABYLON: Well, you know, yeah. And heads up, you know what, heads up, I'm moving Black History Month to August.

SAGAL: You are?

BABYLON: I'm telling you guys.

SAGAL: Why are you doing that, Brian?

(LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: So you can go outside and do stuff.

JOBRANI: Why did they choose February in the first place?

BABYLON: I think Carter G . Woodson has made a big mistake.

SAGAL: You think who?

BABYLON: I think it's Carter G. Woodson. I'm giving you guys a black history fact.

SAGAL: Carter G. Woodson.

BABYLON: Another black history fact, you ready for this? Al Sharpton looks like black Einstein.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Is that a black history fact?

BABYLON: Fact. Fact. But let's get back to these movies in February, this is a proven case because that Kevin Hart, Ice Cube movie was number one for three weeks in a row.

SAGAL: See what I mean?

JOBRANI: That's why I pitching Crocodile Man, that's what...

(LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: Crocodile Man, number one.

SAGAL: Carl, how did Beth do in our quiz?

KASELL: She was three for three, Peter. So she is a winner.

SAGAL: Well done.

(APPLAUSE)

KOPP: Yay.

SAGAL: Congratulations, Beth.

KOPP: Oh, thanks so much.

SAGAL: Thanks for playing.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.