Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
10:10 am
Sat July 19, 2014

Lightning Fill In The Blank

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: Bobcat has one, Roxanne and Roy are tied with three.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: So it's Bobcat.

BOBCAT GOLDTHWAIT: Are you sure? I don't even remember getting one.

SAGAL: Bobcat, you're in third-place. You're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank, on Thursday, Florida became the most recent state to overturn its blank ban?

(LAUGHTER)

GOLDTHWAIT: No shirt, no service?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No, you can do that in Florida - gay marriage. The GOP successfully blocked a Democratic bill that aimed to nullify the Supreme Court's blank decision.

GOLDTHWAIT: The decision that - that - that corporations are now religious organizations.

SAGAL: Yes, the Hobby Lobby decision.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Golfer blank blamed his mistakes in the first round of British Open on people's cell phones.

GOLDTHWAIT: Tiger Woods?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Right. A marathon runner in Colorado finished in third place despite blanking during the race.

(LAUGHTER)

GOLDTHWAIT: Going to the bathroom?

SAGAL: No, despite being struck by lightning. Retiring Yankee, Derek Jeter received a three-minute standing ovation at this week's blank game.

GOLDTHWAIT: All-Star Game?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Best known for her Tony winning one-woman shows and her role on "30 Rock," actress blank passed away at 89.

GOLDTHWAIT: Elaine Stritch.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A man in Britain was caught at a nightclub when his blank caught on fire.

(LAUGHTER)

GOLDTHWAIT: Toupee?

SAGAL: No, when his cologne ignited.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The heavily perfumed man was just hanging out, getting his drink on when his friend jokingly flicked a lighter at him. He went up like a Molotov cocktail made of gasoline and Bay rum. He was actually just fine. He was - got a few minor burns and his lady friends now say he now smells alluringly of musk, cedar and bactine.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Bobcat do on our show?

KURTIS: Bobcat got four right for eight more points. So he now has nine and the lead.

SAGAL: Well done.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right. We flipped a coin, Roy has elected to go next. Fill in the blank, Roy. Bashar al-Assad was once again sworn in as the president of blank on Wednesday?

ROY BLOUNT JR: Syria.

SAGAL: Right. On Wednesday, the U.S. announced sanctions against Rosneft, blank's national oil company.

BLOUNT JR: What...

(LAUGHTER)

BLOUNT JR: Oh Russia's.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Ten people in the Philippines remain missing after the country was struck by a blank.

BLOUNT JR: Typhoon.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, software giant blank said it would be laying off up to 18,000 employees.

BLOUNT JR: Microsoft.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The mayor of the British town of Gosport announced he was resigning after he and his wife blanked.

ROY BLOUNT JR: Had such wonderful a time, they decided to - after he and his wife, I don't know, called it quits.

SAGAL: Got banned from every pub in the village.

BLOUNT JR: Oh.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: A survey from the National Institute of Health found that 2.3 percent of Americans identify as blank?

BLOUNT JR: Gay.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Apple has agreed to a $450 million settlement after colluding to fix the prices of blank?

BLOUNT JR: Books.

SAGAL: Right, e-books.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A Missouri man suspected of robbing a costume shop was arrested at a bar nearby when he was found blanking.

BLOUNT JR: Wearing a brownie costume.

SAGAL: Oh, so close - wearing a giant yellow bird costume.

BLOUNT JR: Oh.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: After robbing the costume shop, the man who refused to give his name to the police who arrived at the bar nearby wearing a matching giant yellow bird costume with matching cape. The bar's owners called the police, who arrived at the scene and after a brief altercation, arrested of the man. He insists it was a misunderstanding and that he was set up by his friend, Mr. Snuffleupagus, that no one else can see. Bill, how did Roy do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Well, Roy got six right for 12 more points, giving him 15 and the lead.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right. Roxanne - how many does Roxanne need to win?

KURTIS: Well, she needs six to tie first and seven to win.

SAGAL: All right, this is for the game, Roxanne, fill in the blank. On Wednesday, insurgents armed with rocket-propelled grenades attacked an airport in blank?

ROXANNE ROBERTS: In Gaza?

SAGAL: No, in Afghanistan. This week, Time Warner reportedly rejected an$80 billion takeover offer from blank?

ROBERTS: Rupert Murdoch.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The CEO of automaker blank was called again before the Senate this week to answer questions about the company's faulty ignition switches.

ROBERTS: GM.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A man in Minnesota was especially dismayed to find he had locked his keys in his cars after he had just blanked.

ROBERTS: Car - blank - After he just started it.

SAGAL: After he had just robbed a bank.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, the company SpaceX was granted permission by the FAA to build the nations first privately owned blank.

ROBERTS: Space station?

SAGAL: Close enough - space port.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Marvel comics had announced that the newest iteration of their character Thor would be blank?

ROBERTS: A female.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A shoplifter in Kentucky is facing additional charges after he used his one phone call to blank.

ROBERTS: Order pizza.

SAGAL: Yes he did, five of them delivered to the station.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Police arrested Michael Harp on shoplifting charges and obliged when he asked to use his one phone call. Less than 30 minutes later, a delivery driver appeared at the station with 5 pizzas he said were ordered by officer Wilson.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, did Roxanne do well enough to win?

KURTIS: No.

(LAUGHTER)

KURTIS: But she did get five right for 10 more points. So with 13 points that means Roy is this week's champion with 15.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: In just a minute, we'll ask our panelists to predict the next place scientists are going to discover an enormous hole. But first, let me tell you that support for NPR comes from NPR stations and Angie's List, connecting consumers with user-reviewed contractors, an online marketplace and concierge support for home improvement services - angieslist.com. The Ford Foundation - working with visionaries on the frontlines of social change worldwide at fordfoundation.org. And Esurance, with a smartphone app that lets customers take care of their car insurance on the go. Esurance - welcome to the modern world - esurance.com.

WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago, in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, benevolent overlord. Phillip Goedicke writes our limericks. Our house manager is Don Hall, our assistant house manager is Tyler Green. Our intern is Seth Francisco Kelly. Our web guru is Beth Novey. Thanks to Kai Shane and everyone at Alternative Apparel in San Francisco. Special thanks to Sydney Goldstein and the staff and crew at the Nourse Theater.

BJ Lederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Eva Wolchover and Miles Dornboss, technical direction from Lorna White. Our CFO and resident grown up is Ann Nguyen. Our production coordinator is Robert Neuhaus. Our senior producer is Ian Chillag. And the executive producer of WAIT WAIT ...DON' TELL ME is Mr. Michael Danforth. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.