Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
9:24 am
Sat October 27, 2012

Limericks

Transcript

DREW CAREY, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank, but first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait-Wait, that's 1-888-924-8924. Or, click the contact us link on our website waitwait.npr.org.

There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago and our upcoming show in Milwaukee November 15th. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

MARK TRENTESEAUX: Hello. My name is Mark Trenteseaux.

CAREY: Hey Mark, where you from?

TRENTESEAUX: Wakefield, Rhode Island.

CAREY: Oh, all the way from Rhode Island. What do you do in Rhode Island?

TRENTESEAUX: I help run my family's company and I'm also a writer.

CAREY: Oh really? What kind of stuff do you write?

TRENTESEAUX: Working on screenplays.

CAREY: Oh, good for you. We have a couple of bloggers here, so you guys probably have a lot in common.

(LAUGHTER)

TOM BODETT: Our Fortresses of Solitude.

(LAUGHTER)

CAREY: Welcome to the show, Mark. Now, Carl Kasell is going to read you three news-related limericks, with the last word or phrase missing from each one.

TRENTESEAUX: OK.

CAREY: If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two limericks, you're a winner. Here's your first limerick.

CARL KASELL: Quoth Ahab while raising the sail, "Who dares to proclaim, 'epic fail'?" The shipmates say, Sir, we sailors concur, the one you heard speak was the?

TRENTESEAUX: Gosh, I don't know.

CAREY: Sail, fail.

(LAUGHTER)

TRENTESEAUX: Whale.

CAREY: Whale. Yes, you got it, whale.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

CAREY: Researchers in California recently released tape of a Beluga whale named NOC making human sounds. NOC taught himself to mimic speech - something that no other beluga whale had done on its own. Here's what he sounds like.

(SOUNDBITE OF WHALE SOUNDS)

(LAUGHTER)

CAREY: Yes, apparently NOC also learned how to play the kazoo.

(LAUGHTER)

KYRIE O'CONNOR: I love that it's so clearly mockery.

BRIAN BABYLON: Yeah, he sounds wasted.

(LAUGHTER)

CAREY: Here's your next limerick.

KASELL: My love life's a galaxy's far speck and dates are a bit of a car wreck. My final frontier is to find a mate here. So dates, for me, focus on?

TRENTESEAUX: Dates for me focus on...

CAREY: Galaxy, final frontier.

TRENTESEAUX: Space.

Trek, trek, trek.

CAREY: Star Trek, yes. Star Trek.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

CAREY: A new website has been created to allow trekkies to boldly go where we're pretty sure they've never gone before.

(LAUGHTER)

CAREY: On a date. Trekkiedating.com connects Star Trek fans with other real life human beings, possibly of the other sex. It's a great, much needed resource, except when you consider there's already a trekkie dating site called the internet.

(LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: I don't know, man, that sounds - I'll try it out.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

CAREY: OK, here's your last limerick.

(LAUGHTER)

KASELL: Check out creepy motel stay dot org. So much death for one place to absorb. Premium cable, dissecting table. A hostel that once was a?

TRENTESEAUX: Morgue.

CAREY: Yes, morgue.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

CAREY: Yeah, just in time for Halloween. Tasmanian hotelier Hadyn Pearce, he's transformed a 1950s morgue named Willow Court into world's first morgue hotel. Guests sleep on the original concrete slabs, and have access to pullout fridges, perfect for storing food, vodka, and their vital organs.

(LAUGHTER)

CAREY: It has all the amenities. You can get room service delivered to your drawer.

(LAUGHTER)

CAREY: You can get your suits pressed and slit up the back, and when you want privacy, you just hang a "Do not disturb" sign from your big toe.

(LAUGHTER)

CAREY: You know Tom a good slogan for this place would be "We'll leave your head on for you."

BODETT: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

CAREY: Tom, you want to give that a shot?

BODETT: The Deep Six Morgue Hotel, we'll leave your head on for you.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

BODETT: OK, there goes the job.

CAREY: Carl, how did Mark do?

KASELL: Mark had three correct answers. So Mark, I'll be doing the message on your answering machine or voicemail.

CAREY: Oh Mark, thank you, Mark.

TRENTESEAUX: Thank you.

(APPLAUSE)

CAREY: Take it easy.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright National Public Radio.