Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
9:11 pm
Fri June 21, 2013

Lightning Fill In The Blank

Originally published on Mon June 24, 2013 10:34 am

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now on to our final game Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer is now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Paula and Alonzo have two, that's a tie. Jessi has three.

SAGAL: Oh, very good. We have flipped a coin. Paula has elected to go first. The clock will start when I begin your first question, fill in the blank. The NSA this week said it's surveillance techniques had helped prevent 50 blanks.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Terrorist attacks.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Stock plunged Thursday after blank hinted that stimulus aid may end.

POUNDSTONE: Ben Bernanke.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A hit man testifying against Boston gangster blank this week said he was heartbroken when he discovered he was an informant.

JESSI KLEIN: Whitey Bulger.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The winner of a parenting blog's best baby hair contest has been accused of blanking.

POUNDSTONE: Best baby hair. Using a wig.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: In what People magazine is calling a dramatic delivery, blank blankdashian and blank-yay blank had a baby girl.

POUNDSTONE: Oh my, Kim Kardashian and "Yeezus."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I believe that's what he's calling himself so yes, Kanye West.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Although Miss Connecticut won the crown, Miss Utah stole headlines for her flubbed answer in the blank pageant.

POUNDSTONE: In the Miss USA?

SAGAL: Exactly right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Police in Paris, France are questioning a 52-year-old mother...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...who helped her daughter with a college entrance exam by blanking.

POUNDSTONE: By hiring someone else to write it.

SAGAL: No. By dressing up as her daughter herself and taking the exam for her.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Oh, I failed as a parent.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's that time of year in France when teenagers sharpen their numeral du pencils and lie to their parents about studying. But one unnamed 19-year-old wasn't worried because her mother put on a pair of Converse sneakers, jeans and lots of makeup and successfully snuck into a Paris exam hall until she was caught by the one supervisor who wasn't drunk on red wine in the middle of the day.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Paula do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Well, Paula got six right for 12 more points. She now has 14 and the lead.

SAGAL: Well done. All right.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right. Alonzo, you're up next, fill in the blank. Best known for his role as TV's Tony Soprano blank died while vacationing in Italy on Wednesday.

ALONZO BODDEN: James Gandolfini.

SAGAL: Yes, indeed.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A bipartisan group of senators reached an agreement on border security Thursday strengthening the chances that a blank bill will pass.

BODDEN: DREAM Act? Immigration bill?

SAGAL: Immigration, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In testimony this week, FBI Director Robert Muller admitted that the FBI uses blank for domestic surveillance.

BODDEN: Drones

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A mother and son crime duo in Minnesota have been arrested for stealing nearly $5,000 worth of blank.

BODDEN: I have no idea. Candy?

SAGAL: No, frozen gopher feet.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Don't ask me why...

BODDEN: That's not candy?

SAGAL: Apparently not, even in Minnesota.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The daughter of former Yankee's manager Joe Torres made news this week when she caught a blank.

BODDEN: Baby.

SAGAL: Yes, a falling baby from a firescape.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A Washington, D.C. cyclist ran a red light into a taxi during a blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

BODDEN: Parade?

SAGAL: No. During a ride to promote bicycle safety.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The bike safety riding party was supposed to be your typical bike safety ride with boring riders being safe. But thanks to one road rider it turned into a do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do ride as the rider swerved around other bikers, blew through lights and slammed into a cab. Organizers say that's not what they intended, but it's a great new twist. Coming up next, their special drink-responsibly beer crawl which traditionally ends in jail.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Alonzo do on our quiz?

KURTIS: He got four right for eight more points, a total of 10. But Paula still has the lead with 14.

SAGAL: So how many then does Jessi need to win?

KURTIS: She needs six.

KLEIN: Oh, boy.

SAGAL: She needs six to win. Here we go, Jessi. This is for the game. In a surprise win, cleric Hasan Rowhani was elected as the new president of blank.

KLEIN: Iran.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After their excavation of a Michigan field failed to turn up anything, the FBI ended its most recent search for blank.

KLEIN: Hoffa.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After the Taliban announced plans to open an office in Qatar, officials in blank cancelled plans for peace talks on Thursday.

KLEIN: Officials in Afghanistan.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, the American Medical Association voted to classify blank as a disease.

KLEIN: Obesity.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A child in Britain was put on hold because one of the jurors blanked.

KLEIN: Died.

SAGAL: No, smelled so bad the other jurors couldn't concentrate.

(LAUGHTER)

KLEIN: I should've had that.

SAGAL: You should've had that. Thought there are more than three years until the next election, this week Missouri Senator Clare McCaskill endorsed blank for president.

KLEIN: Hillary.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: To make flying even more fun, American Airlines and Ryanair both announced plans this week to add more blanks to the planes.

KLEIN: Bathrooms.

SAGAL: Seats. The mother of a recent college graduate was dismayed when her request for a cake...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...that featured a picture of her daughter with a cap on her head instead came with blank.

KLEIN: Oh, man, (bleep) on her head?

(LAUGHTER)

KLEIN: Peter?

(LAUGHTER)

KLEIN: Peter, is that the right answer?

SAGAL: No. It was...

KLEIN: No?

SAGAL: ...the cake came with a picture of her daughter with a cat on her head.

(LAUGHTER)

KLEIN: Sorry about that.

POUNDSTONE: Could happen to anyone.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So, this caps and cats misunderstanding at the bakery recalls a similar story from 2007 when an aspiring gang member was told he'd need to put a cap in a rival's ass. And...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...well, the story did not end happily for anyone involved, especially the cat.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Jessi do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Jessi needed six but she got just five. So with 14 points, the winner is Paula Poundstone.

SAGAL: Oh, my goodness. Whoa.

(SOUNDBITE OF CHEERING)

(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.