Ask Me Another
9:17 am
Tue December 17, 2013

The Chris In Christmas

Originally published on Tue December 17, 2013 10:20 pm

At Ask Me Another, we're no strangers to messing with tradition, especially in the form of song. Instead of "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree," how about "Rockin' Around the Big Blue Sea"? House musician Jonathan Coulton performs some classic holiday tunes with the lyrics rewritten to be about famous people or fictional characters named Chris, like Christopher Columbus or Christina Aguilera. For what it's worth, we're also including names that can be shortened to Chris.

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Transcript

OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

Let's welcome our next two contestants, Kim Rayford and Steve Cohen.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Kim, you're visiting us from St. Louie.

KIM RAYFORD: Whoo!

EISENBERG: Welcome. And you're a plant biologist.

RAYFORD: I am a plant biologist.

EISENBERG: Fantastic. Steve is a professional photographer. Do you photograph plants?

STEVE COHEN: I have.

EISENBERG: Really?

COHEN: Well, in the course of photography. You know. I've had a plant grace my set or two.

EISENBERG: It just sort of happened?

COHEN: Yeah. You know.

EISENBERG: Well, this game is called The Chris In Christmas and it's a music game.

JONATHAN COULTON: This is a pretty simple game. I'm going to play some classic holiday songs with the lyrics rewritten so that the song is about a famous person or fictional character named Chris. Including names that can be shortened to Chris like Christopher. All you have to do is name that Chris. Are you ready?

RAYFORD: Yes.

COHEN: Ready.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG)

COULTON: (singing) Rockin' around the big blue sea, oh, West Indies path we knew. In the 15th century with three ships and a crew.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Kim.

RAYFORD: Christopher Columbus.

COULTON: That's right.

EISENBERG: Yeah.

(APPLAUSE)

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG)

COULTON: (singing) She really can sing, she really can dance. On "The Voice" she helps contestants advance. This Grammy winner's coming to town.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Kim.

RAYFORD: Christina Aguilera.

COULTON: You got it.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Instead of a sleigh she travels on that swivel chair, right? Yeah. Xtina.

(LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG)

COULTON: (singing) "SNL" loud and jolly, "House with Spade" big as a trolley, you frolicked and played, got Tommy Boy made. Laughing in a manchild wonderland.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Steve.

COHEN: Chris Farley.

COULTON: You got it.

(APPLAUSE)

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG)

COULTON: (singing) She plays a hottie that works at Sterling, Cooper and Price. How nice. Been an awful good girl. Curvy redhead let's cuddle and watch "Mad Men" tonight.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Kim.

RAYFORD: Christina Hendricks.

COULTON: Correct.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Let's just wait a minute for all the listeners to return from that fantasy world.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: Did I oversell it? I oversold it.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG)

COULTON: (singing) In a big blockbuster novel, he romances Ana Steele with whips and chains and lots of pain. Makes readers really squeal.

Oh, no. You're both pretending not to know the answer.

(LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Steve.

COHEN: Rob Ford.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: It's technically correct but that's what we're looking for. Kim, do you have a guess?

RAYFORD: Christian-something.

EISENBERG: Oh.

COULTON: Okay. Do you know, audience, what the answer is?

UNIDENTIFIED GROUP: Christian Grey.

COULTON: Christian Grey. That's right. "Fifty Shades of Grey."

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG)

COULTON: (singing) "Best in Show," "Best in Show," mockumentary starring, writing, and directing, this man did all three. "Spinal Tap," "Spinal Tap," the greatest film of all. In my attic I still have my Nigel Tufnel doll.

(APPLAUSE)

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Steve.

COHEN: Christopher and I'm blanking on his last name. Christopher. Guest. Christopher Guest.

COULTON: Christopher Guest is right.

(APPLAUSE)

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG)

COULTON: (singing) We think he was the best Batman, we think he was the best Batman, we don't want a new Batman, even if it's Ben Affleck.

(LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Kim.

RAYFORD: Christian Bale.

COULTON: Christian Bale.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: This is your last clue.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG)

COULTON: (singing) She was a roommate on this 1970s show. She was blond and fun and laughed a ton. Jack and Janet loved her so.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Kim.

RAYFORD: Chrissy Snow.

COULTON: Yes.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: Art, who won that game?

ART CHUNG: Kim was our winner.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Congratulations, Kim. You are moving on to our Ask Me One More final round at the end of the show.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.